Women leaving heterosexuality a mid-life : transformations in self and relations

Abstract

The purpose of this study was to investigate women's experience of leaving heterosexuality at mid-life. Nine lesbian (or gay) identified women, ranging in age from 41 to 55, who had been previously married and who had previously identified as heterosexual participated in the study. During interviews of approximately 2 hours in length, participants were asked to describe their experience of transformation from a heterosexual to a non-heterosexual identity and the impact that this change had on their daily life and relationships. The interviews were transcribed by the researcher and a grounded analysis was conducted utilising QSR NVivo 1.2.142, a software programme designed to facilitate qualitative analyses. The grounded analysis was carried out according to the procedures and principles of grounded theory and methodical hermeneutics. Taking a participant-researcher perspective, the researcher added data from her own experience as a mid-life lesbian to later phases of the analysis. The resulting theoretical representation is a hierarchical category structure consisting of four levels. Twenty-nine first-order categories, which were grounded in the transcript data, were grouped together to form the following second-order categories: "Socialization," "Marriage," "Lesbian Awakenings," "Self-transformations," "Coming Out," "Breaking New Ground," "Leaving the Marriage," and "Shifting Motherhood." These higher order categories were subsequently grouped into three meaningful third-order categories: "Heterosexual Life," "Leaving Heterosexuality--The Experience of Transformation," and "Leaving Heterosexuality--Relational Transformations." The categories "Heterosexual Life" and "Leaving Heterosexuality" reflect the before-and-after quality of the overall experience of leaving heterosexuality at mid-life, while the two aspects of leaving heterosexuality, "The Experience of Transformation" and "Relational Transformations," reflect changes in self and identity versus changes in roles and relations. The core category that evolved as the overall organising representation of the data was one of transformation, which I labelled "Women Leaving Heterosexuality at Mid-life: Transformations in Self and Relations". The findings of this analysis are discussed in terms of the following: the social construction of identity; the experience of transformation at mid-life, including the labels we use for sexual orientation and women's capacity for intimacy and intimacy needs; coming out as a mature woman, including the loss of heterosexual privilege and coming out to family members; and the redefinition of family.